Doc Whiz's Little Instruction Book: How to Flunk Out

The following list of recommendations are guaranteed to help you waste four years of your life and cheat yourself out of an education. Very simply this is a list of everything you wanted to know about pain, agony and frustration in a university.

1. Think of the University as a big high school.
2. Listen and believe everything everyone tells you about the University and everything else for that matter.
3. Worry about what others think of you.
4. Don't accept responsibility for your behavior.

1. Don't see an advisor.
2. If you see an advisor, don't listen to them.
3. If you see and listen to an advisor, don't believe them.
4. Don't prepare questions for your advisor.

1. Skip classes.
2. Don't attempt to make up the work for classes you miss.
3. Don't take class notes.
4. If you take notes, don't review them.
5. Expect to be spoon fed.
6. Don't ask questions of the instructors.
7. Put off doing course assignments to the last possible moment.
8. Don't prepare for classes.
9. Turn in messy work. Turn in papers with the fringes on them.
10. If you miss class, ask the instructor if you missed anything important.

1. Throw your course syllabi away.
2. Don't plan your work.
3. Study the last minute before exams.
4. Study at a party.
5. Take books home to study on vacations/week-ends.
6. Put books under your pillow at night to absorb contents.
7. Study other peoples notes. Especially if they are foreign students. Even better if the notes are in their native tongue.

1. View the faculty as the enemy.
2. Believe that all time is free time.
3. Consider yourself a number.
4. Blame others for the problems you have.
5. Believe that university policies are for others and not yourself.
6. Believe that all work and no rest or outside activities is the only way to benefit from the University.
7. Rush everything you do.
8. Act before you think.

1. Don't take advantage of the services the University can provide.
2. Don't follow University procedures.
3. Take everything with a grain of salt.
4. Change your major every semester-you'll be here forever frustrated.
5. Stay away from campus on the week-ends.
6. Don't change your underwear.

Doc Whiz # 42